MY
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT IN CLASS
By Mark Grevelding
If you have been an instructor for long enough, you have probably had
a few embarrassing moments in class. We perform in the spotlight with
all eyes riveted to our every move. Unfortunately, those moves can sometimes
send us cart-wheeling into the pool, sliding across the deck, or exposing
parts of us we would rather keep concealed.
Yes, we've all been there. But what about those perfect presenters we
all admire and look up to. Surely they must be immune to red-faced bloopers,
right? Well, I had to find out. I contacted some of the industry's top
aquatic presenters and asked them, "What was your most embarrassing
moment in class?" Naturally, I was heartened by their stories of spills,
thrills, peek-a-boos, hurls, and unintended microphone broadcasts. Secrets
no more, here's the scoop on the fame and the shame!
Spills. Slippery decks and energetic instructors don't mix well, just
ask Pauline Ivens, Deck Teacher Extraordinaire. Recently she was demonstrating
a move while sitting on a noodle, and her excited contortions launched
her into a complete back flip into the pool. First time for Pauline?
Heck no. "At a workshop in Arizona some time ago, the deck was very
narrow and I had turned my back to the pool to demonstrate a cross-country
ski, when all of a sudden my back foot overstepped the deck and I fell
backwards into the water," says Ivens.
At least she was wearing a waterproof microphone. Dr. Greg Keyes Ph.D.,
super presenter from Australia wasn't so lucky. Presenting a master
class in Sydney, he prepared for a dry land presentation, knowing that
his microphone wasn't waterproof. Dressed in a Calypso outfit, complete
with a pair of maraca's and flashing Nike shoes, Keyes' enthusiasm and
energy combined with a wet, tiled floor sparked a disastrous tumble.
"The Nikes failed to flash, the Calypso sleeves became limp, and the
radio microphone went to heaven," states Keyes. He adds, "I felt like
a complete idiot in my drenched outfit, was fearful of the money it
was going to cost to replace the microphone, and wasn't sure if I was
going to be electrocuted." Naturally, Keyes told the instructors that
he had fallen on purpose to show them what could happen if you are not
careful!
Thrills. Obviously, we all try to dress appropriately, but sometimes
we forget to look in the mirror before rushing out of the house! Julie
See, President of the Aquatic Exercise Association, once rushed into
a class pulling off her sweatshirt as she made her way towards the tape
deck. Walking in front of full-length mirrors, she noticed a surprised
look on the faces of her students and quickly realized she was wearing
a sexy lacy bra from Victoria's Secret instead of a sports top. "All
that know me realize I don't fill out a bra quite like the models in
the catalog, but it was still a bit embarrassing, and HOT teaching in
a sweatshirt," says See.
Here's another story from Greg Keyes down under. He forgot to look in
the mirror one time too. At his first international convention, Keyes
presented a master class, which required him to take off one outfit
and reveal a second one beneath. He describes the second outfit as brilliant
and expensive, with a myriad of patterns and colors, and not at all
sexy or revealing. After giving an astounding performance, Keyes settled
in after class to read his glowing evaluations. He was puzzled when
he read a few comments from instructors stating that they wished he
had worn a groin support! Keyes was shocked because he had worn TWO
male ballet groin supports. Concerned because he never checked out the
second outfit in a mirror, Keyes did so and discovered the problem.
"The design and patterns on my final costume made it appear that one
side of my groin was enormous, more like a horse than a man," says Keyes.
Needless to say, he ALWAYS looks in the mirror now and instructs students
in his Presentation Skills Workshop to do the same!
Peek-a-boos. Connie Warasila, who was recently awarded AEA's 2001 Global
Award for Fitness Professional of the Year, actually looked in the mirror
but had no time to fix her apparel dilemma. Years ago, Warasila's aquatic
fitness director asked her if she would be interested in teaching deep
water exercise, and the director invited her to attend a class to check
it out. On the day of the class, she lost track of time while visiting
her mom and realized she had forgotten her swimsuit. Forced to borrow
some exercise clothes that a family friend was planning on giving away,
she raced off to the gym. On her way out of the locker room, she stopped
in front of a mirror and discovered a three-inch rip in the front seam
of her shorts. Afraid of missing the class and offending her host, she
bolted out of the locker room and jumped into the pool before anyone
could see her. But she forgot something important. "Being new to deep
water, I didn't know about flotation belts but it didn't take me long
to realize I had made a HUGE mistake by not wearing one," explains Warasila.
Afraid to get out of the pool for fear of revealing her ripped shorts,
Warasila managed to stay afloat for the whole hour. Ouch, that must
have hurt!
Laura Ribbins, international aquatic presenter from the Cayman Islands,
never saw her apparel disaster until it was too late. Recently, Ribbins
was presenting at a fitness expo in Italy, and was given a sponsor swimsuit
to wear with logos plastered all over it. She claims the swimsuit was
previously worn, but felt and looked great on her. Ribbins was teaching
an aquatic kickboxing class with about 100 people in the pool, and about
another 500 spectators around the pool. Totally into the music, the
hype, and the noise, it took her awhile to notice Angie Proctor, AEA
Executive Director, on the sidelines pointing to her legs, near the
crotch area. "I assumed Angie was signaling me for alignment or safety,
but after 15 minutes of teaching the class with high kicks and many
squats, I discovered that the crotch of my sponsored outfit was GONE,
yes GONE, GONE, and of course underwear is a thing of the past," says
Ribbins. Did she run off the stage in horror? Flee Italy incognito?
Nope. Amazingly, brave Laura continued teaching the class with modified
kicks and squats. Yikes! It sounds like an aerobic instructor nightmare!
Hurls. Having just finished teaching class, Sarah Kooperman, Director
of Sara's City Workouts, was feeling extremely nauseous. She was in
her first trimester and nobody knew that she was pregnant. Convinced
she was going to throw up, Kooperman walked VERY quickly to a bathroom
only to find it occupied. She walked even MORE quickly to another bathroom
to find that one also occupied. Suddenly without options, in front of
her class, her friends, and her co-workers, Kooperman grabbed several
towels and unceremoniously barfed in them. "Everyone figured out that
I was pregnant," says Kooperman. She adds, "What a way to announce to
the world you are with child!"
Speaking of announcements, Angie Proctor, Executive Director of AEA,
gave quite a speech at the 1994 IAFC in Minneapolis, Minnesota. This
was her first event as Executive Director and Proctor was nervous and
trying to be accommodating and professional. Unfortunately, a sponsor
representative was pitching a fit while setting up equipment, and making
a scene in front of three hundred attendees at the pool. Not wanting
to create a bigger scene, Proctor politely dragged the woman into the
locker room to talk some sense into her, forgetting she was due to teach
in less than two minutes. She says she lost her cool when the woman
would not listen and was literally holding her hands over her ears like
children do. "I reached BOILING POINT and I started screaming creative
four letter variables and I threatened that she had better get her butt
in gear or I was going to treat her just as she was behaving and knock
her silly," says Proctor. At this time, one of Proctor's trainers ran
into the locker room looking shell shocked, and whispered, "Angie, I
think you may want to turn off your microphone." Poor Angie. "And yes,
now we'd like to introduce the NEW Executive Director of AEA.."
I can sympathize with you Angie. While teaching a lunchtime class at
Kodak's corporate headquarters, I ran into the bathroom during a break
between segments and emerged to find a gymnasium filled with red-faced,
tittering ladies. I was told that my microphone had been on the whole
time. "Oh Jesus no," I said. But it was true. Every tinkle, flush, velcro
rip, throat clear, nose blow, and friendly salutation to my urinal companions,
had been broadcast over the speakers of the Kodak gymnasium!
Trust me, I could have filled up a whole article with my own red-faced
antics, but it gave me immense pleasure to shine the spotlight on the
stars of our profession. I hope you remember this article the next time
you say, "This could only happen to me." No doubt, you have stories
of your own. Feel free to share some of your own harrowing experiences
for a "Bloopers2" article. Clearly, these stories allow us to collectively
revel in the dysfunction of our peers. Isn't that what friends are for?
Mark Grevelding is a free-lance writer and full time fitness professional
living in Rochester, New York. As a personal trainer and group exercise
instructor, he is certified through AEA, AFAA, and FITOUR. He may be
contacted via e-mail at markgrev@aol.com, or by phone: (716) 865-2609,
or by mail; Mark Grevelding, 234 Milford St. #9, Rochester, NY. 14615.
Copyright and permission granted by Mark Grevelding, 2001.
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